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The Dark Knight Quotations

The Dark Knight is a 2008 American superhero action film sequel to 2005's Batman Begins, based on the comic book character created by Bob Kane and Bill Finger. This time, Batman and Lieutenant James Gordon confront a psychotic terrorist known as "The Joker".

Directed by Christopher Nolan. Written by Christopher Nolan and Jonathan Nolan

Contents

Dialogue

[Grumpy and Bozo are busy stacking the stolen cash]
Grumpy: That's a lot of money. If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have had us bring a bigger car. [draws his gun on Bozo] I'm bettin' the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we'd loaded the cash.
Bozo: [checking his watch] No no no no... I kill the bus driver. [edges to one side]
Grumpy: "Bus driver?" What bus driver? [A bus reverses into the bank, knocking him down]
Bank manager: You think you're smart huh?.But the guy that hired you, he'll just do the same to you. All criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor... respect... Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? What do you believe in?!
Bozo: I believe…whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you…[Removes mask to reveal he's the Joker]…stranger.
[The Chechen is meeting with Scarecrow for a drug deal in a parking garage, and sees the Bat-Symbol in the night sky]
Chechen: That's why we bring dogs. My little princes. [an addict is dragged out of the car]
Addict: Please, please, they're all over me!
Chechen: Look what your drugs do to my customers!
Scarecrow: [Stepping out of his van] Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they'd be places you wanted to go.
Chechen: My business, repeat customers.
Scarecrow: You don't like what I have to offer, you can buy from someone else, assuming Batman left someone else to buy from. [dogs start barking]
Chechen: My dogs are hungry! [sees a fake Batman] Pity there is only one of you. [More fake Batmen appear and attack]
Scarecrow: That's not him. [Batmobile appears] That's more like it.
[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes and has left them tied up for the police]
Batman: Don't let me find you out here again.
Brian: We're trying to help you!
Batman: I don't need help.
Scarecrow: Not my diagnosis!
Brian: What gives you the right? What's the difference between you and me?
[Batman lowers himself into the Batmobile]
Batman: I'm not wearing hockey pads!

[Alfred enters interim Batcave, Bruce is patching himself up after last night]

Alfred: It'll be nice when Wayne Manor's rebuilt, you can go from not sleeping in a penthouse to not sleeping in a mansion. Whenever you stitch yourself up you do make a right bloody mess.
Bruce: Yeah, makes me learn from my mistakes.
Alfred: Well, you ought to be pretty knowledgable by now, then.
Bruce: My armor, carrying too much weight, I need to be faster.
Alfred: I'm sure Mr Fox can oblige. [Inspects the wound closer] Did you get mauled by a tiger?
Bruce: It was a dog.
Alfred: Huh?
Bruce: It was a big dog. More copycats last night Alfred, with guns.
Alfred: Why don't you hire them and take the weekend off?
Bruce: That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to inspire people.
Alfred: I know, but things have improved. Look at the new district attorney.
Bruce: I am, closely. [looks at CCTV monitors of Harvey Dent's movements] I need to know if he can be trusted.
Alfred: Are you more interested in his character or his social circle? [Indicates to monitor of him with Rachel Dawes]
Bruce: Whoever Rachel spends her time with is her business.
Alfred: I trust you don't monitor me on my days off.
Bruce: If you ever took one I might.
Alfred: Know your limits, Master Wayne.
Bruce: Batman has no limits.
Alfred: Well, you do, sir.
Bruce: Well, can't afford to know 'em.
Alfred: And what's gonna happen on the day that you find out?
Bruce: We all know how much you like to say: "I told you so."
Alfred: On that day, Master Wayne, even I won't want to… probably.
Harvey: Sorry I'm late folks.
Rachel: Where were you?
Harvey: Worried you'd have to step up?
Rachel: Harvey, I know these briefs backwards.
Harvey: Well, fair's fair. [Draws coin] Heads I'll take it, tails it's all yours.
Rachel: Oh yeah? You want to flip a coin to see who leads?
Harvey: It's my father's lucky coin, as I recall it got me my first date with you.
Rachel: Who'd leave something like that to chance?
Harvey: [Flips coin] I don't. [Catches and reveals it to be heads up] I make my own luck.
[[They walk past Maroni's defense team]
Maroni: I thought the D.A. just played golf with the mayor, things like that?
Harvey: Tee off's one thirty. More than enough time to put you away for life, Sally!
[The mob bosses are assembled together, teleconferencing with Lau]
Lau: Rest assured, your money is safe.
Joker: [fake laughter done in deadpan voice] Ha ha ha ha, hahaha, ha, ha, ha, oh, a-hee-hee, ha ha, oh, hee ha, ahaha. [returns to normal voice] And I thought my jokes were bad.
Gambol: Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
Joker: How 'bout a magic trick? [he slams a pencil into the table, point first] I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
[Gambol's henchman stands up and goes to attack him; in one swift motion the Joker then slams the man's head into the pencil, forcing the entire pencil through his eye socket; the man falls over dead]
Joker: Ta-daa! It's, ah it's gone! And by the way, the suit? It wasn't cheap. You oughta know, you bought it! [Gambol rises in anger]
The Chechen: Sit. I want to hear proposition.
[Pause. Gambol glares at the Joker, who indicates The Chechen in agreement. Gambol sits reluctantly.]
Joker: Let's wind the clocks back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you... I mean, what happened? Did your balls drop off? Hmm? You see, a guy like me....
Gambol: A freak. [A few mob members snicker]
Joker: [ignoring Gambol] A guy like me... Look, listen... I know why you choose to have your little, ahem, 'group therapy' sessions in broad daylight. I know why you're afraid to go out at night: The Batman. You see, Batman has shown Gotham your true colors, unfortunately. Dent? He's just the beginning. And as for the television's [points at the TV showing Lao] so-called 'plan', Batman has no jurisdiction. He'll find him, and make him squeal. I know the squealers when I see them, and... [points at Lao again, who covers his camera with his hand and turns it off]
The Chechen: What do you propose?
Joker: It's simple, we, uh, kill the Batman.
[The mobsters laugh]
Maroni: If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?
Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.
The Chechen: How much you want?
Joker: Uh, half. [the mobsters laugh again]
Gambol: You're crazy.
Joker: I'm not. No, I'm not. If we don't deal with this now, soon, little uh, Gambol here, won't be able to get a nickel for his Grandma.
Gambol:[rises in anger] ENOUGH from the clown!
Joker: Ah, ta ta ta, let's not blow [opens his jacket, revealing several grenades, pins attached to a string around his thumb] this out of proportion.
Gambol: You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
Joker: Yeah.
Gambol: I'm putting the word out. Five hundred grand for this clown dead, a million alive, so I can teach him some manners first!
Joker: Alright, so listen. Why don't you give me a call when you want to start taking things a little more seriously? Here's my card.
[leaves joker card on the table and walks away]
Gambol's thug: Yo, Gambol. Someone here to see you. They say they've just killed the Joker. They brought the body.
[Men bring in a body-bag, Gambol inspects what appears to be the Joker's corpse]
Gambol: So, dead? That's five hundred.
[Joker springs to life, putting a knife in Gambol's mouth, the men who brought him in hold Gambol's men at gunpoint]
Joker: How about alive? Hmm? Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker... and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not... one... bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and says, "Why so serious?" He comes at me with the knife — "Why... so... serious!?!" Sticks the blade in my mouth, — "let's put a smile on that face!" And... [turns to Gambol's thugs as he kills Gambol] Why so serious?
[The Joker turns to address Gambol's men]
The Joker: Now, our operation is small, but there's a lot of potential for aggressive expansion. So, which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open right now, so we're going to have, [he snaps a pool cue in half] tryouts! [drops a sharpened end on the floor] Make it fast.
[A news program is broadcasting a video of Joker with a kidnapped Batman wannabe]
Joker: Tell them your name.
Brian: Brian... Douglas... .
Joker: Are you the real Batman?
Brian: No.
Joker: [laughs] No? Then why do you dress like him?
Brian: He's a symbol... that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.
Joker: Yeah, you do, Brian. You really do! [strokes his face] Oh, hush, hush, hush, hush. So, you think that Batman's made Gotham a better place? Hm? Look at me. LOOK AT ME! [faces the camera] See, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham! You want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die... starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
[Joker laughs as the camera goes out of focus and Brian screams in pain]
[Bruce and Rachel are alone at the top of the penthouse]
Bruce: You once told me we would be together. Did you mean it?
Rachel: [sadly] Bruce... don't make me your only hope of a normal life.
Bruce: You know that day that you once told me about, when Gotham would no longer need Batman? It's coming.
Rachel: Bruce, you can't ask me to wait for that.
Bruce: It's happening now. Harvey is that hero. He locked up half of the city's criminals, and he did it without wearing a mask. Gotham needs a hero with a face.
Rachel: Harvey Dent, scourge of the underworld, scared stiff by the trust fund brigade. I'll be back.
Harvey: Rachel, wait.
Alfred: [offering champagne] Liquid courage, Mr. Dent?
Harvey: Alfred, right?
Alfred: Yes, sir.
Harvey: Rachel talks about you all the time. You've known her her whole life.
Alfred: Well, not yet, sir.
Harvey: Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
Alfred: [smiles] Oh, you have no idea.
Joker: [to Rachel] Well, hello beautiful! You must be Harvey's squeeze! And you are beautiful. Oh, you look nervous. Is it the scars? Wanna know how I got 'em? [grabs her chin as she continuously tries to look away] Come here, look at me. See, I had a wife — beautiful, like you — who tells me that I worry too much, who tells me that I ought to smile more, who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. Hey. [she squirms, and he forces her to keep looking at him] One day they carve her face. We have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again, hmm? I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So… (Rachel tries again to look away, he grabs her face and forces her to look at him.) I stick a razor in my mouth and do this… to myself. [Directs attention towards the scars on his face] And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves! Now, I see the funny side. Now, I'm always smiling!
[Rachel knees him and pushes him off her]
The Joker: [laughs] A little fight in you. I like that.
Batman: [appearing suddenly] Then you're gonna love me. [punches the Joker]
[After a scuffle between Batman and Joker's men, Joker puts a gun to Rachel's head]
Batman: Drop the gun!
Joker: Oh, sure! You just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are! [shoots out the window]
Batman: Let her go!
Joker: Very poor choice of words! [Let's go of Rachel's arm, causing her to fall through the window]
Bruce Wayne: Targeting me won't get their money back. I knew the Mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They've crossed a line.
Alfred: You crossed the line first sir. You squeezed them and hammered them to the point of desperation, and in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand.
Bruce Wayne: Criminals aren't complicated, Alfred. We just need to figure out what he's after.
Alfred: With respect, Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that you don't fully understand either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anyone who had traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing the stones away.
Bruce Wayne: So why steal them?
Alfred: Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Bruce Wayne: People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
Alfred: Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman. He can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make — the right choice.
Bruce Wayne: Well, today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today, you get to say, "I told you so."
Alfred: Today I… I don't want to. [they walk to the elevator] But I did bloody tell you. [Bruce laughs] I suppose they'll want to lock me up, too, as your accomplice.
Bruce Wayne: Accomplice? I'm gonna tell them the whole thing was your idea.
[Batman slams Joker's head into the table]
Joker: [groggy] Ugh... Never start with the head! The victim gets all... fuzzy. He can't feel the next...
'[Batman punches Joker's hand; Joker pauses for effect]
Joker: See?
Batman: You wanted me. Here I am.
Joker: I wanted to see what you'd do. And you didn't disappoint. You let five people die. Then, you let Dent take your place; even to a guy like me, that's cold!
Batman: Where's Dent?
Joker: Those mob fools want you gone so they can go back to the way things were, but I know the truth. There's no going back. You've changed things. Forever.
Batman: Then why do you want to kill me?
Joker: [laughs] I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off Mob dealers? No, no… no! No, you… you… complete… me.
Batman: You're garbage who kills for money.
Joker: Don't talk like you're one them! You're not... even if you'd like to be. To them you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out. Like a leper. See, their morals, their "code"... it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these uh, these "civilized people", they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.
[Batman grabs Joker by the lapels and lifts him up]
Batman: Where's Dent?
Joker: You have all these rules, and you think they'll save you!
[Batman slams Joker into the wall]
Batman: I have one rule.
Joker: Oh, then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth.
Batman: Which is?
Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules, and tonight, you're gonna break your one rule!
Batman: I'm considering it.
Joker: There's only minutes left, your going to have to play my little game if you want to save one of them.
Batman: Them?
Joker: You know, for a while there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her... [laughs]
'[Enraged, Batman flips Joker over onto the table]
Joker: Look at you go! Does Harvey know about you and his "little bunny"?
[Batman slams Joker's head into the mirror and punches him]
Batman: WHERE ARE THEY?
Joker: Killing is making a choice...
[Batman punches him again]
Batman: WHERE ARE THEY?
Joker: Choose between one life or the other: Your friend the district attorney, or his blushing bride-to-be...
[Batman punches him again]
Joker: [laughing hysterically] You have nothing! Nothing to threaten me with, nothing to do with all your strength!
Joker: I want my phone call, I want it, I want my phone call.
Detective Stephens: That's nice.
Joker: How many of your friends have I killed?
Detective Stephens: I'm a 20-year man. I know the difference between the punks who just need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who just enjoy it... and you killed six of my friends.
Joker: Do you know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savour all the little emotions. Y'see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are, so in a way I knew your fiends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
The Chechen: Joker man, what will you do with all your money?
Joker: See, I'm, a guy of simple tastes. I enjoy gunpowder, dynamite... and gasoline! You know what they have in common? They're cheap.
[Joker's men douse the money with gasoline]
The Chechen: I thought you were a man of your word!
Joker: Oh, I am — I'm only burning my half. [He throws the Chechen's cigar onto the money, setting it ablaze]
Joker: All you care about is money. This town deserves a better class of criminal, and I'm gonna give it to 'em. Tell your men they work for me now; this is my city.
The Chechen: They won't work for a freak!
Joker: [mocking The Chechen's accent] "Freak"? Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches, and then we'll see just how loyal a hungry dog really is! [Joker's men lead the Chechen away] It's not about money... It's about... sending a message. Everything burns!
[Joker walks into Harvey Dent's hospital room, disguised as a nurse. Harvey tries to strike him, but is stymied by the straps holding him down]
Joker: Hi. You know, I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey. When you and, uh...
Harvey: RACHEL!
Joker: Rachel were being abducted, I was sitting in Gordon's cage. I didn't rig those charges.
Harvey: Your men, your plan!
Joker: [smirks slowly] Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. [giddy] I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know…I just do things. The Mob has plans. The cops have plans. Gordon's got plans. They're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say… [grabs Harvey's hand, Harvey struggles a little] ah, come here. When I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you'll know that I'm telling the truth. [starts unstrapping Harvey's wrists from one side] It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, and you had plans. And, uh... [starts unstrapping Harvey's other wrist] look where that got ya.
[Once Harvey's other wrist is free, he attempts to grab The Joker, the two struggle with each other until The Joker grabs a hold of Harvey's hands, moving them from side to side]
Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and [sing-song tone] I turned it on itself! [Harvey stops struggling, The Joker looking down at him] Look at what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hm? You know–you know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan"… even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I told the press that, like, a gang-banger will get shot, or a truck load of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die… well, then everyone loses their minds! [lets go of Harvey's hands and pulls out a gun, the barrel facing himself] Introduce a little anarchy. [puts the gun into Harvey's hand, cocking the gun] Upset the established order, then everything becomes…chaos. [guides the gun to his own forehead, smacking his lips] I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair.
[Harvey thinks for a minute, and shows Joker the unscarred side of his coin]
Harvey: You live...
Joker: Mmm-hmm?
Harvey: [turning the coin on its scarred side] You die!
Joker: Now we're talkin'!
[Batman and Joker's fight ends with Batman pinned under a girder. Across the ferries they're set to detonate and a Businessman has the detonator primed]
Joker: [struggling to keep Batman down] We really should stop this fighting. Otherwise, we'll miss the fireworks!
Batman: There won't be any fireworks.
Joker: And here we… go!
[After a long moment of hesitation, the businessman sets the detonator down. Confused, the Joker looks at his clock, which says midnight]
Batman: What were you trying to prove? That deep down, everyone's as ugly as you? You're alone!
[The Joker snarls in fury and pulls out another detonator]
Joker: You can't rely on anyone these days. You got to do everything yourself. [to Batman] Don't we? That's okay. I came prepared. [takes out a detonator, presumably the one that will blow up both ships] It's a funny world that we live in…speaking of which, know how I got these scars?
Batman: No... but I know how you got these!
[Batman fires his steel spike protrusions from his gauntlet, hitting the Joker in the face. The Joker falls from the building, but Batman snares his legs with a grapple, and hoists him up]
Joker: Uhh, you... you just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You trully are incorruptible, aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you because you're just too much fun! I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman: You'll be in a padded cell forever!
Joker: Maybe we could share one! You know, they'll be doubling up at the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.
Batman: This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good.
Joker: Until their spirit breaks completely! Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent, and the all heroic things he's done. You didn't think I'd risk losing the battle for Gotham's soul in a fist fight with you? No... You need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harvey.
Batman: [horrified] What did you do?
Joker: I took Gotham's White Knight, and brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. See, madness, as you know, is like gravity: all it takes is a little push! [laughs hysterically]
[Two-Face is holding Gordon's son at gunpoint]
Batman: You don't want to hurt the boy, Harvey.
Two-Face: It's not about what I want! It's about what's fair! You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. You were wrong! The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair. His son's got the same chance she has; fifty-fifty.
Batman: What happened to Rachel wasn't chance. We decided to act. We three.
Two-Face: Then why was it me who was the only one who lost everything!?
Batman: It wasn't.
Two-Face: The Joker chose me!
Batman: Because you were the best of us! He wanted to prove that someone as good as you could fall!
Two-Face: And he was right.
[Gordon's son follows Gordon down to where Batman lies unmoving next to Two-Face's corpse]
Gordon's Son: Dad! Dad, is he okay?
Gordon: [relieved as Batman slowly pulls himself up to his knees] Thank you.
Batman: You don't have to thank me.
Gordon: Yes, I do. [both look at Two-Face's body on the ground] The Joker won. Harvey's prosecution, everything he fought for - undone. Any chance you gave us at fixing our city dies with Harvey's reputation. We bet it all on him. The Joker took the best of us and tore him down. People will lose hope.
Batman: They won't. They must never know what he did.
Gordon: Five dead, two of them cops? You can't sweep that up!
Batman: No. But the Joker cannot win. [kneels down next to Harvey, whose scarred left side is facing up] Gotham needs its true hero. [turns Harvey's head so that his unmarred side faces up]
Gordon: [immediately understanding] No!
Batman: [quoting Harvey Dent] "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." I can do those things because I'm not a hero, not like Dent. I killed those people. That's what I can be.
Gordon: No, no! You can't, you're not!
Batman: I'm whatever Gotham needs me to be. [hands Gordon his radio] Call it in.
Gordon: They'll hunt you.
Batman: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me, set the dogs on me. [In the voiceover, Gordon speaks at Dent's funeral, then destroys the Bat-Signal, Alfred burns Rachel's letter, and Fox destroys the sonar device] Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes... the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.
[Batman runs]
Gordon's Son: Batman? Batman! Why is he running, Dad?
Gordon: Because we have to chase him.
Gordon's Son: He didn't do anything wrong.
Gordon: Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight.

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